The Tiger Metaphor

 Going about our everyday lives we are constantly bombarded with negative emotions from all around and it’s something that really can’t be avoided even if we wanted to. It’s essentially a part of us, whether it’s friends, family or that constant gut-wrenching pressure from school and work, that negativity drives our narratives and affects how we interact not only with ourselves but also the world around us. 

However, negative emotions being something we face every single second is actually normal and part of our human nature but the real milestone comes down to how we process and overcome the negativity, that’s what sets you apart from others. Overcoming negative emotions is a constant battle within yourself and overcoming it is a skill like any other.

Let me be honest here, I overthink things and it’s something that even my doctor recommended I avoid because it puts pressure on my heart. I face a lot of negative emotions and sometimes it leads me down a dark path littered with depression, suicidal thoughts and a lot of self-doubt and even questioning my own identity. 

All these thoughts sprouting from the negativity within—fed by outside forces— would sometimes have me looking at myself as someone who is “imperfect” or who simply doesn’t have what it takes to fit in with the world.

 Even when I sit down, I’d compare myself with my friends and the progress they’re making in their lives—same goes for my partner and that feeling of being left behind put me in this isolation ice as a way of escaping everyone and the world. It was safer being alone than around people even family. 

They say silence makes an introvert happy. 

However, being cooked up in my room away from the world didn’t really keep me away from the negativity because it became a constant battle within myself which ultimately led me to developing some habits. 

I thought those habits would make me feel good about myself and they became a way of coping with the negative thoughts in my head, It didn’t help at all. That satisfaction I got from it was temporary and only pushed the negativity away and when they returned, they came back much stronger and I’d find myself spiraling back to where it all started. It made me feel worse and I hated myself. 

Where does the tiger metaphor fit into all this?

Imagine there’s a village settled in the middle of a thick and heavy forest. In that village is a mighty chief who lives peacefully and finds it the most comfortable place he’s ever known until one day, a tiger attacks out of nowhere. The tiger constantly terrorizes the village not only disturbing the peace of the villagers but also the chief. 

The Tiger. Your negative emotions disturb your comfort zone

The world’s turned upside down and the chief does everything in his power to kill the tiger but it simply won’t die and no matter what, it still comes back until the chief then decides to just build a wall around the village to keep the tiger away but to no avail! It tears it down. The chief rebuilds it tears it down, rebuilds tears it down and eventually he gives up trying and just lets the tiger run loose. 

He lets it rampage but the problem is, the more the tiger runs rampant the more it wants to feed and the more destruction it causes. The chief asks himself as his people scream in terror, “what should I do?”

Now in this world, you are the chief and the big scary tiger is a representation of your negative emotions. The village which the tiger constantly terrorizes is the world you comfortably live in, your sanctuary and the only place you get to have control and now that world is no longer that safe heaven you once believed it was because it’s being torn apart day after day. 

"All you want is to go back to the way things used to be. All you want is to be happy but the tiger won’t let you. You’ve tried everything in your power to push it away but nothing, it’s stronger than you. You’re just a human who doesn’t have the strength to fight so what do you do now? How will you make yourself happy and bring back that world you once adored?"

All the solutions you’ve cooked up have been ineffective in getting rid of the negative emotions within yourself and each time it only poked the inevitable and brought them hurtling back to you like a meteor that killed the dinosaurs. You’ve even tried praying but nothing and it feels as if you’ve fallen from God’s grace. You feel like samson with no redemption arc. 

As time goes by you eventually get tired of trying and you’ve decided to just let the emotions flood in and you spiral down the rabbit hole because you don’t care anymore and how’s that made you feel so far? Worse. You’ve told yourself you’ve tried everything in your power to get rid of the negativity but the fact that you’ve failed in practically everything you now think that you’re not good enough and there’s probably something wrong with you.

But have you really tried everything? Have you tried taming the tiger instead of chasing it away?

Have you tried listening to yourself instead of pushing yourself away?

Can you actually tame the tiger?

Of course, you can, ask national geographic! You can learn to tame the tiger. You can learn to sit with your emotions and not chase them away. You can understand them and feel good about having that negativity around as a part of you and not see them as an existential world ending threat, it’s all about changing your perception. 

Sitting with the negative emotions and not acting upon them is simply a skill you learn with time. It’s the same as how whenever you get jealous of your friend who’s gotten the phone you’ve always wanted, you don’t act on the jealousy and steal the phone  or when someone makes you angry, you have this self-control that limits you from doing something extreme. You may say something or take action but you always have a limit bar. That’s a skill and it goes the same with overcoming negative emotions.

However, this process of learning to sit with your emotions—taming the tiger and not fending it off you—is easy and at the same time daunting. Like learning every other skill, be it sports, gaming, art or music it requires a great amount of self-patience. Learning a skill is a constant battle where the arena is inside you. 

The best part about this process is that it becomes a journey of self-discovery where you uncover the best parts about yourself—strengths and weaknesses—and you eventually begin to look at yourself positively even if you feel that negativity around. You eventually learn to look the tiger in the eye without a spear or a mighty sword.

Do you have what it takes to face me?

Now that right there’s the tiger metaphor. You can call it the journey of self-conquest. The great escape of the Israelites only this time it’s only you escaping Egypt. Honestly speaking, despite me taking you on this journey of self-discovery, I myself haven’t completed it yet. I’m still on my hero’s journey; however, even though I haven’t gotten to that place but when I look back to base, I’ve actually made a significant amount of progress that’s actually allowed me to sit here and be sharing this with you. Writing this blog was something I would’ve never done if I was still stuck in that place. 

I have to admit, I do slip up but this process has allowed me not to feel bad about it, pick up from where I left, find what worked and what didn't and move on. I’ve learnt to separate that negative from my identity and focus on the positive aspect about myself and that’s something you can achieve if you’re willing to allow yourself to go through.

If you’re ready to take on this journey then this blog is the place to start, it's where the flag waves on the race track. It’ll be a great pleasure to learn from you as well, and I’d love to have some company. They say misery loves company! I’m just kidding.

Same time and day next week I’ll be sharing my next topic called Buffering: the wall and the habit. Stay safe and know that you're appreciated, Kudos!

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